Kill the Hero Inside

Die to Lead

You’re not the hero of your home—Jesus is.

You keep trying to lead like a strong man, but God is waiting for you to lead like a weak man who trusts a strong Savior.

2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV), “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

It is not your desire to serve others that honors God. That might feel noble. But if it comes from your own need to feel useful, you’re still at the center. The real question is this: are you serving because you love Jesus? Because you can’t not serve Him?

There was a season in my life where I prayed, almost every day, “Jesus, help me to focus on You. Help me be obedient. Show me what it means to love You by how I serve others.” But I was also frustrated. I felt stuck. I had the desire, but no direction. I wasn’t seeing results. I kept saying, “Maybe I’m being impatient.” But underneath it all, I was wrestling with something deeper: I still wanted control.

Oswald Chambers said it straight: “Every area of self-reliance must be slain by the power of God.”

Men, this is where we struggle. We want to be dependable, responsible, respected—but all in our own strength. We don’t like feeling weak. But that weakness is exactly where Jesus does His best work.

When you think you’re doing a good job, when you’re checking the boxes and leading your home with a sense of pride, who are you really depending on? Yourself? Or Jesus?

You can’t steward your family well while clinging to self-reliance. The Spirit of God doesn’t flow through your strength—it flows through your surrender.

Ask yourself: what happens when you don’t get what you want? When your leadership isn’t recognized? When you serve and it still feels like you’re not moving forward?

Do you get angry? Shut down? Lash out? Or do you stop and ask, “Is this thing I want really from God? Or is it just my way of serving Him on my terms?”

If Jesus isn’t the object, then you are.

When you serve your wife or your kids because it makes you feel like a good man, or makes you feel respected, then your family isn’t the focus—you are. And if you’re honest, that kind of service will always lead to burnout and resentment, not obedience.

The truth is, you’re a flawed man. So am I. But that’s where grace hits hardest.

It’s not until you recognize your total weakness, your absolute need for Jesus, that you can even begin to walk in power. Not your power, but His.

Obedience isn’t just the things you do—it’s the heart you have. And that heart must be born out of faith. Faith that when you are weak, God is strong.

Paul says it clearly in 2 Corinthians 12:10, “For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

That’s not a slogan. That’s a battle cry.

You want to be a man who leads with strength? Then die to yourself.

You want to be a man who loves his family well? Then get out of the way and let Jesus lead through you.

You want your kids to know a strong father? Show them what it looks like to admit when you’re wrong, when you’re tired, when you’re lost—and then point them to Jesus.

Brother, this isn’t weakness. This is Biblical manhood. This is leading with grit, faith, and real spiritual authority.

Today, realize this: you will fail. As a husband, as a father, as a man. But Jesus won’t. And when you turn to Him in that failure, when you surrender instead of performing, when you drop the hero mask and kneel before the only true King, that’s when your house gets stronger.

Not by your might. Not by your words. But by the Spirit of God.

It won’t be easy. But it will be good. It won’t always be clear. But it will be holy.

And it starts when you kill the hero inside you.

Today’s “Shepherding in Action” Value is Dependence on Christ

When we lead from our weakness instead of our pride, we invite the power of the Holy Spirit to shape us into the shepherds our families need.

Reflect / Apply / Share

1. Reflect – What area of your life are you still trying to control instead of fully surrendering to Jesus?
2. Apply – How can you shift your leadership this week from self-reliance to dependence on Christ?
3. Share – Who in your life needs to hear about leading from weakness instead of pride? What’s one way you can show them that truth?

Bible References (NIV)

• 2 Corinthians 12:9 – “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
• 2 Corinthians 12:10 – “That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Personal Prayer

Lord, kill every part of me that still believes I can lead without You. Remind me that my strength is found in surrender, and teach me to lead with Your power, not mine.

My Personal Journey & Engagement Call
These weekday reflections flow from my time in God’s Word