Stop Playing God—Start Leading Like a Shepherd

Some of us had to be broken before we ever bowed to Jesus.

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God’s Promise for Today
John 3:30 – “He must increase, but I must decrease.” (ESV)

In 2008, I was called. God shook me awake. The kind of shake that lets you know you can’t keep going the same way anymore. The very next year, in 2009, my wife left. It blindsided me. I was grieving not just a marriage, but a future I thought was set. For three, maybe five years, I walked through the wreckage.

But God didn’t walk away. He stayed. I praise Him for that.

That season, as painful as it was, was the fire where He began forging something in me. He brought the sword—just like Jesus said in Mark 10:34. Not to harm me, but to cut through the noise so I could see Him clearly. Sometimes that sword comes through heartache. Sometimes it comes through silence. But when it comes, it divides. It forces a choice.

I chose to lean in.

I answered the call. I went to school. I stepped into ministry. I became ordained. I served as a minister and chaplain in healthcare, in hospice, in churches, and in the community. But the deeper work didn’t come from the ministry titles. It came from what God stripped away.

Looking back, I see clearly what Oswald Chambers called “amateur providence.” People around me meant well. They wanted to comfort. Advise. Fix. But they got in the way of what God was doing. And I let them. I leaned into people when I should’ve leaned into the Lord.

And worse, I’ve done it to others. I’ve tried to play God in their story. I’ve stepped in when I should’ve stepped back and let God do His thing. For those moments, I’m sorry.

Here’s what I know now: when we step in without being led by the Spirit, we’re just getting in the way. When we think we know better than God’s process, we end up stunting someone else’s growth.

Brother, hear me—if you recognize that you’re getting in the way, you’ve already made yourself bigger than God in that moment. You’re increasing, and He’s decreasing. And that’s not how this works. Not if you want to lead like Jesus.

John 3:30 isn’t some poetic line for coffee mugs. It’s a war cry for men who claim to follow Christ. He must increase, but I must decrease.

If you’re a husband, a father, an uncle, a grandfather—you’re the shepherd of your home. And shepherds don’t walk in front of the King with their own agenda. They follow His lead.

We can’t carry a sword and think we’re leading if we’ve stepped ahead of Jesus.

You gain strength by walking behind Him, not in front of Him. Real leadership starts with real submission. That means you don’t get to play savior to your family. You point them to the Savior.

That’s how shepherding works.

And don’t miss this—your family isn’t your only church. Your home is your first church. That’s where your leadership starts. That’s where your walk with Christ is tested and proven. But your church family—the body of believers around you—is where you’re supported, shaped, and sharpened. You weren’t meant to lead alone.

Let the men in your church speak into your life. Let the Word dig deep. Let your pastors and brothers in Christ call you higher. And be that brother for someone else.

Your family needs a man who isn’t trying to be a god, but who fears the one true God. A man who doesn’t try to fix every problem, but brings every burden to Jesus. A man who doesn’t run from brokenness, but who’s bold enough to walk through it.

God used pain in my life to make me a shepherd. He brought a sword so I’d stop playing games and start following Him with both eyes open. And now I get to see the fruit of that obedience. Not because I did everything right. But because I finally got out of the way and let God lead.

Brother, don’t wait for the sword to come. Choose surrender now. Lead with your knees bent and your hands open.

You were made to shepherd. You were made to serve. You were made to lead.

But only if you’re willing to follow.

Today’s “Shepherding in Action” Value
Submission: Submitting to God’s authority is where strong shepherd leadership begins.

Three Practical Reflection Questions

1. In what ways have you been stepping ahead of Jesus instead of following His lead? (John 3:30)
2. Are there areas where you’re acting like the provider of solutions instead of pointing your family to Christ? (Mark 10:34)
3. What steps can you take today to bring your leadership under God’s authority and rely on His strength?

Bible References (ESV)

• John 3:30 – “He must increase, but I must decrease.”
• Mark 10:34 – “For I have come to bring a sword…”

Short Prayer
Lord, help me step aside so You can take Your rightful place in my life. Make me a bold, clear, Spirit-led shepherd who leads by following You first.

These weekday reflections flow from my time in God’s Word. I invite you to join me and other Men of the Shepherd in building Christ-centered homes—leading, discipling, and serving like Jesus.

If these reflections encourage you, please like, share, and pass them on so more men can grow in their calling.

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