The Three Daggers of Self-Centeredness

This devotional started out as a pet peeve. A rant. My intention was not to turn it into something deep. But the more I sat with it, the more it dug into me—and the more I realized some of us need this reminder right now.

Your words will always tell on you.

Men, it’s time to stop hiding behind spiritual talk and start living like you actually follow Jesus.

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God’s Word for Today
Galatians 2:20 — “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” (ESV)

Ever notice how many guys claim to lead in ministry but can’t stop talking about themselves? I’ve been around a few—pastors, chaplains, especially —men who mean well, but everything they say starts with “I,” “me,” and “my.”

That’s not leadership. That’s performance.
That’s what happens when a man stays tuned in to WIIFM radio—“What’s In It For Me.” That frequency is all about self. Self-promotion. Self-importance. Self-protection.

We don’t need more men broadcasting on that channel. That channel is overcrowded.  We need men who put down the mic and pick up the towel. Men who don’t need to be the center of every story. Men who speak more about Jesus than they do about themselves.

If you’re constantly promoting your own story, your own view, your own walk—then maybe the object of your faith isn’t Jesus after all. Maybe it’s you.

In ministry, the words I, me, and my can quietly become daggers—
the Three Daggers of Self-Centeredness.

These words aren’t sinful by nature. But when they dominate your message, they pierce the heart of the Gospel. They pull focus off Jesus and aim it straight at the speaker’s experience, opinions, or personality.

Even with good intentions, the message shifts. It becomes more about the messenger than Jesus. And what’s left is a self-centered, ego-driven presentation dressed up in spiritual talk.

A focus on Jesus and your family, starts with intentionally.

Ask This One Question:
“What is the object?”
Is it Jesus?
Or is it you?

Watch for These Patterns In The Way You Speak:
“I’ve always believed that…”
“Let me tell you about my journey…”
“My take on this verse is…”

Replace With:
“Here’s what Jesus taught…”
“God’s Word says…”
“Let’s look at what the Spirit is showing us here…”

If you are a father and husband, then you are called.  And this message also goes out to those who are called to ministry especially pastors, chaplains, teachers, and shepherds…

We are not the subject—we’re the servants.
We are not the message—we’re the messengers.
Preach Christ, not yourself.
Speak of His glory, not your grind.

Let every conversation—public or private—point people upward, not inward.

Men, the next time you’re in a conversation—whether you’re leading a Bible study, talking with your wife, discipling your kids, or just speaking with a brother—check your words.
Awareness starts the change in you..
Count them if you have to and focus on what it is you are lifting up?

Yourself?
Your story?
Or Jesus?

I’m not saying your story doesn’t matter. It does. Your testimony is extremely important. But it’s not the point—it’s the pointer. Your testimony should always lead back to the Cross. If your message starts on you and even stays stuck on you, it’s not shepherding—it’s showcasing.

That’s not Biblical manhood.

Jesus didn’t show up to impress anybody. He came to serve. He didn’t carry a platform—He carried a cross. And He didn’t say, “Follow Me so you can build a brand.” He said, “Deny yourself, pick up your cross daily, and follow Me.”

So what are you carrying today?

If your leadership, your language, or your life is still wrapped around “I, me, and my,” then it’s time to put that down.

Drop the daggers. Pick up your cross.

Lead your home by following Jesus first. Speak His name more than your own. Let your family see that you belong to Him—not the other way around.

Start today by asking yourself the one question that cuts through the fog:

What’s the object?

Is it Jesus?
Or is it me?

Because one of those builds a legacy.
The other builds a platform built on sand and that will collapse the moment pressure hits.

You weren’t made to build your name.
You were made to lead your family to Jesus.

Today’s “Shepherding in Action” Value

Focus — A man who keeps Jesus at the center of his message leads with clarity, purpose, and strength that builds a Christ-honoring legacy.

Reflect / Apply / Share

Reflect – What do my conversations reveal about who or what I treasure most?

Apply – How can I intentionally shift the focus of my leadership away from myself and toward Jesus today?

Share – Who around me needs to hear less of my opinions and more of God’s truth spoken clearly and boldly?

Bible References (ESV)

Galatians 2:20 — “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” (ESV)

Personal Prayer

Lord, strip my words of pride. Let me speak in a way that reflects You, not me. Let my life and leadership point only to the Cross.

My Personal Journey & Engagement Call

These weekday reflections flow from my time in God’s Word. I invite you to join me and other Men of the Shepherd in building Christ-centered homes—leading, discipling, and serving like Jesus.
If these reflections encourage you, please like, share, and pass them on so more men can grow in their calling.
To follow along with the weekday readings, check out our Weekday Reflections Playlist on YouTube or subscribe to the YouTube channel here.

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